girlonahalfshill

“CRISPY” “Crispy PLEEEASE!” “Extra CRISPY!”

Well, everybody. Allow me to spread the news. Fries, Brussels Sprouts, Zucchini Fries… Our kitchen can and does make all of these crispy. What I can’t do is KEEP them crispy for you – while we wait for a delivery driver to arrive, while that same delivery driver weaves all over the map to find your house, and as they both cool down and are held inside of containers that try to preserve the heat, but which inevitably also expose them to a sauna of moisture. And the ALL CAPS and exclamation points don’t give me the power to reverse that.

There is actually scientific study of crispiness, inspired by our infatuation with doorstep convenience. (https://www.npr.org/2019/10/25/773305418/the-future-of-french-fries) But while we wait for Franken Fries to arrive, it’s worth pausing to realize that this is just the tip of a more dangerous iceberg. The delivery service model that’s ballooned is putting demands and strains on restaurants beyond the negative reviews that they field when the delivered products are soggy, limp or cold, or when the driver from the third party service they’ve contracted with drops the food before it makes it to your house, or goes for a joy ride.

Let’s take a step back and explain something that few people who aren’t restaurant managers or owners know: the food service industry has incredibly tight margins. I know that you sit down and look at your pizza and vino, shaking your head at the price tag, however, with the cost of the product (usually 25-30%), wages and payroll taxes (30%), workers’ compensation, rent in Marin County, building and maintenance costs for the facilities, packaging materials, liquor licenses, ETC., we’re lucky if we get out the door with 5-10% profit to show at the end of the day.

And that’s despite the fact that, yes, it’s true, those lovely staff members who welcome and seat you, the ones who patiently take your order and try to remember all of your dietary restrictions and the fact that you prefer your dressing on the side, and the bartender who remembers your order and has your drink waiting on the bar for you as you sit down – are all probably working for minimum wage + tips. That’s right. That doesn’t mean that they’re all mercenaries and are only being nice to you because they hope that you’ll tip them. Most of them are nice to you because the industry collects and cultivates nice people who choose to interface with others, who take pride in learning your order and helping you and your family enjoy your evening. AND they’re hoping that you’ll respond in kind by compensating them for their attention.

Now, enter the delivery service market. Duh, duh, duh, dum. They keep between 20-25%, of the ticket price of the meals that they deliver, often in addition to charging you, the customer, a fee. There is no gratuity for the restaurant or its staff, which now has to purchase additional packaging materials, hire staff to transcribe the orders from the delivery service into our point-of-sale system and pack the order, ensure that it’s correctly assembled for the driver when they arrive and field customer and technical issues as they arrive. Yet, without fail, restaurants have jumped on board because it doesn’t feel like a real option if we don’t. There is so much demand that delivery sales often exceed in house or phone orders for many locations. And if they don’t partner with these services, you’ll swipe through the options on your phone, maybe frown for a moment when you don’t find us, then move on.

And yes, I’ve done it too. On my day off, it’s incredibly hard to kick myself out of the house. My bones are tired and it’s so, so easy to feel like I “deserve” a night in. And who’s to say that I don’t on occasion? But, knowing what we’re doing, it becomes harder to justify. We are paying more for convenience – over community, over local business, and over quality.

But I know of a place where you can get crispy fries. Come on down! We’ll save you a seat.