girlonahalfshill

Sitting at a desk, working day after day, this road trip has been a daydream for the past five years. It is the culmination of high hopes and escapist fantasies, an ambitious attempt to reconnect with my sons after a year and a half of absentee parenting… it is all of this and it is tiring. And I am finding that our friends and family are the best antidote to road weariness.

Sitting at a desk, views, vistas and monuments draw me, a museum sounds like a valuable opportunity to broaden my boys’ awareness and a national park within shooting distance seems like an offer we can’t refuse, but in the driver’s seat, in the choice between a familiar face and a motel, the familiar face has been winning every time. Twice now, we have abandoned our set plans to join friends sooner. And I really can’t say enough in favor of the quality of friends that I have in my life – from Carlos, who I’ve known for quite some time now – longer than either of us care to admit, to Sam, a former co-worker who was kind enough to meet the boys and I for lunch in Oklahoma City and who introduced us to The Best Tacos, to my cousin and his wife in Enid, OK – they welcomed our extended stay and made us feel at home, to Bryan in Austin, another former co-worker who is so much more… 

And the trip isn’t half over. We still have so many lives to intersect along the way. There are the small interactions as well, and, thanks to the boys, I’m often in the audience for those. Spencer has taken to interviewing shopkeepers and waitresses about their products and food, he’ll wax poetic about the value of small businesses and the innovation and quality that he finds there. Tyler stops to help younger kids, holds doors, meets people’s eyes and wins them over with his smiles.

And in between the stops, we’re becoming increasingly familiar with Roman Mars of 99% Invisible, a podcast we hadn’t listened to before the trip commenced and now, Richard Feynman, as we make our way through the audiobook, “Surely You’re Joking, Mr. Feynman.” We finished Douglas Adams’ “Life, the Universe and Everything” yesterday, to mixed reviews. The random, absurdity of Adams’ style may have thrown the boys a bit, but Feynman’s adventures have captivated them.

And that hoped for reconnection with my sons has been easier to find than I had hoped. I suppose it was never lost; they have known that I wasn’t avoiding them, but had been trying to make ends meet. There has been less academic investment than I had hoped, for them and me. (I had dreamed of studying for my LSAT and practicing math facts, reading and writing with the boys. Oh well.) But there have been sunsets and stories and adventures. There will be memories that last for ages and friendships deepened and valued. That seems good enough for now. That seems like a win.